Do you know Gertjie?

In the first couple of months of leaving a small town to go off and spread your featherless wings, going BACK to that small town is pretty much like eating brussel sprouts dipped in chocolate - something to look forward to until you get stuck in. You run into classmates whose names you aren't too sure of and now feel obliged to inquire about their well-being, future dreams and grocery shopping trip.  Your shampoo runs out and, with the exception of a few over-priced 24hour shops where you're bound to pick up a free living creature or two with every purchase, shops close at 7. I know right?!

And then there are conversations that go something like this:
Random person I've never spoken to in my life but who somehow knows my parents:
Ooooooooh! So you're in Caaaaape Town. You know! My cousin from Graaf Reinette's maid's pharmacist's daughter's ex-boyfriend, Gertjie, is aaalso studying at (some raaaaaaaaaaaaaaandom institution no one's eeeeeeeeeeeever heard of)..."

From this point forward, the conversation can go in a number of ways, begging one of the following responses:
1. No, we do not meet up for drinks very often.
2. No, we can't drive home together as Graaf Reinette is on the other side of SA
3. No, we can't share washing powder as he stays 30k's away in "the road with the many big houses"
4. No, I haven't met his parents yet. I think it would be better if I met him first.
5. No, I don't think I'd like a June wedding.

This is only one of the many "little things" I find endearing about Plattelanders. Most (not all, but many!!) have this image in their minds of a city as this slightly enlarged little town where everyone knows everyone and butterflies crap marshmallows. This is a LIE. The city IS amaaaazing - you DO meet lots of people, make lots of friends and eat lots of marshmallows. But no. There are no tribal gatherings in the clearing and no one sings kumbaja on the promenade. Except maybe a bergie or two.

Point is, I don't know your sister's mister's babysitter's cousin, your psychiatrist's dog's mother's owner's librarian or Gertjie. Living in the same city as Gertjie is like living on the same continent as Barack Obama. Or a fieldmouse names Zeek. But if I do have the misfortune to meet him/her/it someday, I will be sure to give them the rusks you sent along. :-)